Smackdown 2019: Da Bomb – Blowin’ it up

Monday, 7/1
June 30, 2019
Tuesday, 7/2
July 1, 2019

Smackdown 2019 is now in the books, and WOW what a competition! Twenty teams competed this year and because we had more men sign up than women, we had one all male team: the Big Dills (they aptly wore pickles on their camo tank tops). One team member was heard to say: “We were the only all male team, and yet we didn’t even crack the top 10…” Yes indeed, CrossFit DC has a lot of really strong women. So note to women for next year: sign up, the guys need you!

The competition kicked off with a workout called the Legislative Branch in honor of our fine city, where a male/female pair completed 2 rounds of 8 synchronized Burpees and 8 Wall Ball, while the other pair rowed max calories. When the pair completed their Burpees and Wall Ball, the pairs switched. General consensus was that people underestimated how hard this workout would be – turned out it was a doozy. 

Next came Synched Up, a two person workout where a male/female pair completed 21 synchronized Ab Mat Sit Ups, 15 Pull Ups and 9 synchronized Dumbbell Thrusters. There were various weight and Pull Up scaling options, but you had to be smart because points were adjusted accordingly. Can you get enough more reps to make up for the lighter weight and/or ring rows? That was the gamble.

The third workout was another two person workout for the remaining male/female pair of a team called NSBF (Not Safe for Boutique Fitness). NSBF required each teammate to complete 8 Power Snatches, 16 Clean and Jerk and 24 Front Squats in a 12 minute time cap. A time penalty was assessed for each scaling of the weight options. There were some epic weight battles, and people digging deep to gut out those final 24 Front Squats.

The last workout before moving on to finals was called Bomb Squad for the full team, designed to mimic Seal Team 6 training. Each team member had 4 minutes to put on gloves and goggles (for protection of course), memorize the combination lock code, complete a Burpee Suicide then unlock the lock, complete 3 Burpee Box Jump Overs then a Farmers’ Carry, memorize a sequence of colors, complete another 3 Burpee Box Jump Overs then a Farmers’ Carry, then clip the wires in the right sequence. If they got the sequence wrong, they blew up. If they didn’t finish in the 4 minutes, they blew up. The scores came from the total of all 4 teammates’ scores. There was a lot of confusion, a fair amount of anticipation, and more than a little apprehension and yet the number of bomb detonations was relatively low. Turns out we’re a smart bunch here at CrossFit DC. 

Then it was time for the sudden death finals between Aggressively Average, Mystery Back Pain, JACKed and . A brutal combo of Bar Facing Burpees and Deadlifts knocked out Children of the Nineties… and Nicole. Assault bikes and Sandbag Throws over a bar knocked out Aggressively Average. The final workout of 15 rope climbs and a heavy Clean ladder, in true Smackdown fashion, came down to the very last weight, with the deafening cheers and the crowd rushing the floor. In the end, JACKed came out on top and the winners of Smackdown 2019 were crowned. First, second and third place all received prizes. And because CrossFit DC is about fitness in community, we also presented a CrossFit DC Spirit Award to A GrisWOD Family Smackdown, Best Team Name to Today’s Get to Know You Question, and Best Team Outfit to The Wild Things. Honorable mentions go to Pour Some SugarWOD on me for Team Name and to Tune SqWOD for Team Outfit. 

Last but not least, the money raised from the 20 teams’ registration fees will be going to the following three charities: 

CrossFit Faru: The Special Operations Group are the elite Game Scouts of the Grumeti Fund‘s Anti-Poaching Unit. These Game Scouts are equipped and trained to react quickly to information regarding potential poaching threats anywhere in the Serengeti. Their primary role is to intervene in potential poaching activities before they happen. These elite wildlife protectors need to be in optimal fitness condition in order to carry out their daily work safely and efficiently. The chosen fitness regime is CrossFit, as this affords the necessary cardio/stamina/strength conditioning that these elite scouts require. Why CrossFit Faru? Faru in the Ki-Swahili language means Rhino and these scouts are actively involved in protecting this critically endangered species.

Colorectal Cancer Alliance:
Led by CrossFit DC member Michael Sapienza, the Colorectal Cancer Alliance is the nation’s leading nonprofit dedicated to colorectal cancer. The Colorectal Cancer Alliance empowers a nation of allies who work with the organization to provide genuine support for patients and families, caregivers, and survivors; to raise awareness of preventive measures; and inspire efforts to fund critical research. 

EOD Warrior Foundation: The EOD Warrior Foundation (EODWF) serves the EOD community by providing financial assistance and support to active-duty, retired and veteran EOD Techs and their families. This includes EOD Warriors and their families who have been wounded, ill or injured, families of the fallen, and by maintaining the EOD Memorial.

If you’d like to contribute an additional donation to any of these organizations in honor of the Smackdown, just email

Finally, a big thank you to the volunteers who helped judge the teams all day, as well as to all the teams and spectators – you are what makes CrossFit DC what it is. 

Now start planning your teams for next year!

For more pictures of the day, join our private CrossFit DC Facebook Group [you must be a CFDC member to join]

Final 10 teams (after the first 4 workouts):

  1. Mystery Back Pain (Kamber, Kate, TR, Doug)
  2. Aggressively Average (Ashlee, Celine, Dima, Tim)
  3. Children of the 90s… and Nicole (Roxie, Nicole, Brian, Stu)
  4. J.A.C.Ked (JP, Angie, Chad, Kasey)
  5. Pour some SugarWOD on Me (Austin, Evan, Jen, Juliette)
  6. Mobb Deep (Michael, Royal, Sandy, Devon)
  7. Going Commando (Jake, Tess, Matt, Paula)
  8. Tom Brose’s CrossFit DC U Street CF Faru and EOD Warrior Foundation Memorial Celebrity Smackdown Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure (Alan, Josh, Annie, Sam)
  9. Tune SqWOD (Maggie, Erick, Billy, Johanna)
  10. TIE: Today’s Get-to-Know-You Question (Sam, Lauren, Chris, Roberto) and Pies & Thighs (Ilana, Vin, Huck, Kanika)

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